Have you ever wondered if there was more to life,...
Spencer, Dan and I were just at Pinkberry and Spencer was approached to do male modeling.
I should have left it for Ginger, Pepper and...
Dear Nicole, If I die you will recieve $300K in life insurance I now pay $2.50 a month for (I would expect you to split it evenly with Mom and Dad). Please don’t murder me so you can take vacations. xoxo Jillian
Whoa, whoa, whoa.. What's this bizness all about...
Just got my first paycheck and $621.29 was taken out for taxes! That is redics. Why do single people get the shaft when it comes to taxes? It’s not fair. Sorry Government that I am young and unmarried and that boys don’t like me. Aaron! I’m going to ask you again, this time through tumblr: Will you marry me? Just think of the tax cut!
I proposed to Aaron Chaet at work today via AIM....
Jillian: We can be the academic couple and hang in smart crowds. But we would obvs. be the funny ones.
Aaron: I'd rock a bandana to show that I don't care for the establishment.
Jillian: And I would still talk in abbrevs to show that I don't need any of their proper grammar. Fuck grammar.
Aaron: Very Faulkneresque.
Best compliment eva.
My old Industry Ent. boss just fired her assistant and wants to pay me to come in this weekend and train the new one. I am totally going to do it and I consider this one of the greatest compliments of my working life.
hint, hint. →
I totes recall you coming up and hitting on me in dave’s apt and I was...– Dan’s sarcastic response to my first meeting posts from the Jefferson Girls.
I think that you should send out cards filled with christmas kittens.– Bennie’s response as to whether to send holiday cards or not.
I totes recall coming up to you and telling you about the kid puking on the...– Amy’s first memory of me.
You came to kindergarten with your hair crizimped to the mizax, and you were...– Bennie’s first memory of meeting me
This is why I've started drinking coffee.
Today I woke up and my alarm hadn’t gone off yet so I rolled over to look at the time on my phone which I use as my alarm and it was turned off! The little fucker turned itself off in the middle of the night for no reason. In a panic I ran out of my room to see how much I had overslept. I had FIVE minutes to get to the bus stop. I basically threw on clothes and ran as fast as I could. I...
Clean up shop.
I stopped following a lot of people on tumblr today. I now only follow friends and five lucky strangers (although most of those strangers I have had contact with). This will probably mean people will stop following me once they realize I stopped following them and a certain someone will win our fun little game. That’s the only bummer about this. Other than that I think it’s a good...
I’m reading some PEANUTS right now and Charlie Brown sure loved him some Little Red-Haired Girl. I know what you’re going through little guy.
We missed you at Thanksgiving, but not sure you missed much. The only excitement...– Liz Wicker
She’s proud of him??? She’s PROUD that her 16 year old is rehab???? Maybe that’s...– Perez Hilton give his two cents on Marie Osmond’s comment that she is proud of her son for checking himself into rehab. Perez is a naive idiot when it comes to drug addiction. He constantly gives his opinion on addiction during his celeb commentary and it is always bad. Because he is...
My roommate Scott and I are going to do this. →
Warning: I am looking at this site right now and I almost puked. We wanted to find something here and found nothing, so we tried this option instead and we sure found something.
Sweet, sweet fantasy baby.
Everyday on the bus I have this fantasy where I am granted the wish of being able to write awesome songs, it goes as follows: I am at a party and there is this machine that creates beats or whatever there and I make up a song on the spot (some awesome song playing on my iTunes) and all my friends and everyone at the party is like, “Come up with more awesome songs on the spot!” And I will say, “To...
Ahhhh I guess it’s Champagne at Noon Day. Two O’clock Snacks are going to taste extra good after some bubbly.
On a bed of nails she makes me wait.– With or Without You – U2 This song randomly played on my iTunes on the ride to work today and I listened to it on repeat a couple times. It is really quite beautiful. I can totally empathize with the lyrics right now (which I interpreted two different ways, neither one having to do with religion). I...
Guess who suggested today we meet up for lunch... →
Am I really watching the Scooby-Doo Double Feature on ABC Family right now? Did I really just sit through the first one and am now going to watch the second? I haven’t changed the channel yet which makes me think I am. FOR GOD’S SAKE JILLIAN! PICK UP THE DAMN VONNEGUT!
"Do you like your underwear around your knees?"
I just saw Dan and Andrew on THE SOUP!
The things I want to know are in BOOKS.
I am loosing all of my creativity. I no longer draw, I no longer write and most of all, I no longer read. I spend my time online looking for pictures of cats with poor grammar. I spend my time watching my friend’s videos on vimeo. I spend my time obsessively checking the dashboard of my tumblr. Tonight I tried to sit down and read some Vonnegut but I couldn’t. Tumblr has shorted my attention span...
My old company laid off a lot of people because of...
Brett: i was laid off
me: fuck that shit!
Brett: i'm so happy!
Brett: i'm watching porn up in norcal!
Sherlock Holmes took his bottle from the corner of the mantelpiece and his...– The Sign of the Four by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Most people forget that our buddy Sherlock loved him some morphine and coke.
Aaron: I need to drop out of school and write a book.
Aaron: It's so frustrating listening to bob dylan and writing about internet tax legislation.
Paul made an awesome movie with my sister in it. I love this movie. And ah, hello Michael S. Where have you been all my life?
yearsbestcomedy: why'd u panic?
jillianborden: because I accidently got on 101
yearsbestcomedy: like in Clueless
yearsbestcomedy: UR GETTING ON THE FREEWAY!!!!!!
jillianborden: EXACTLY! Haha. Nice reference. It was totally like that!
Of all the things the dog could have chose to chew in the house he had to pick my $300 glasses?
Oh, those silly stoners!
I just used the part of my friends toenail clipper to clean my nails without looking at it first and now there is resin stuck in my nails because Susie used it to scrape her bowl once.
PANIC on the 101!
I just accidentally got onto the 101N on my way home. On an entrance that dumps you into the lane furthest to the LEFT. The scariest lane of all! Needless to say I just suffered from a very fucking intense panic attack. For all of you curious as to how I react to these attacks ask Chris, he had the unfortunate experience of being in the car with me. I’m a mess right now. Shaking all over....
It bothers me when people put up the default AIM away message, “I’m away from my computer right now.” Not only are you probably still there, but you’re also an asshole. — pauliophonic I am NOT an asshole. I have to do it because I use it at work to correspond with people and my away message can’t be something like, “SO HUNGOVER.”
No, don’t move to NoCal!!!!!! Its cold and its damp there. Plus,...– Bender
My good friend Del is seriously entertaining and has a seriously awesome tumblr. He works at ELLEN and he often gives us behind the scenes glimpses. He is also really into vid-blogging and posts some great stuff here. All my friends who read this all agree with me that he SHOULD BE ON TV. GO DEL!